The Gateway

Sitting in my garden partaking of this glorious day, really “laid back” for a change and doing absolutely nought other than (have the odd sip of tea) bask in the sun like a lizard!

Awesome azure sky not even the wisp of a cloud insight. Watching some of the trees oscillate gently in the light breeze, almost giving a little shake to shed leaves of different hues – yellow, rust, gold – helping them to float down and so begin the next cycle of their journey, giving back in the only way they can, assisting in replenishing the Earth. Their way of showing gratitude?

Acacia trees, already bear of leaves as they await winter, their beautiful dark brown seed pods laying all around the base of their “mother”, I pick one up, it shares its unique sound with me as I gently shake it, the rattle is the sound of Africa – home.

Doves, Bulbuls, Cape Robins calling to each other, back and forth and for a few moments a lone Lourie makes its presence known. Some of the birds scratching in the fallen leaves and finding the hidden treasures, of ants, worms, beetles , seeds, and so the cycle continues.

A young Oak tree with its leaves of bronze is a spectacular sight with the last rays of the sun as a backdrop and its leaves look like burnished gold.

As I take in and watch all this going on around me, I remember why I love Africa, why it is my home. From South Africa all the way to the north, to my ‘landing site’/birthplace on the Copperbelt, and a wee bit beyond, such awesome lands.

How grateful I am for today and the opportunity I have (and taken) of being in the present moment and for being able to journey back in time and remember all the steps taken, that have brought me to this beautiful day, and the gratitude I feel for everyone and  everything I have in my life.

Wherever you are, take some time and try it – sit back and watch it all unfold in front of you – be attentive, take notice, feel, listen, smell, touch and do all of that with the “eyes of your heart”. It is cleansing and humbling.

Be well and I wish you a glorious day:>)

It is an inside job

In order for you to move forward in life you have to look at and conquer your fears – in all the various presentations.

Life is a bit like an onion, you have to peel back all the negative layers, to get the prize. When you reach the heart/core of it you are able to find your “Yes I can”,  and your “Passion” in life. The positive answers to those procrastination moments of “I can’t today”, or the elusive “What do I really want to do with my life?”

There are many fears, the majority of which are internal fear based dialogue. If you look at your “belief wall” you find a great deal of writing on it, and I think it is safe to say that at least 90% of it was placed there by well-meaning people – parents, relatives, teachers, society, folklore, and even bullies.

Procrastination – fear based self-sabotage, a thief of precious time.
I think it was Donald Marquis who referred to procrastination as “the art of keeping up with yesterday.”

For just a moment, think of someone who always seems to be on the go, a person with such a busy schedule that you feel exhausted for them, when you listen to all they have to do or accomplish that day/week. Obviously there are various degrees of procrastination and not everyone with a heavy schedule falls into the procrastination category. However, what you do, what you achieve, what you deliver, is a far better gauge than the words you speak.

Procrastination, like most negativity, has various components or some sub-headings, and they in turn have sub-branches. A bit like a bowl of spaghetti.

Inaction – stay as you are, it’s a comfort zone, no change, no growth, no risk
Blame – put problem or situation at someone else’s door
Manipulation – ‘work load sympathy’, putting ‘it’ off, someone does it for you, ergo no failure
Hoping, Wishing, Praying – ‘things get better’, ‘I had more time’, ‘the Universe will do it for me’

Add to the sub-headings some everyday sub-branches of – don’t, can’t, should.
Don’t – have the experience, education, credentials
Can’t – what would people say/think, too old
Should – should I try? what do you think?

All of the above = Self-sabotage = negative internal dialogue = talking yourself “out of it”!

Ultimately the decision rests with you, continue as you are, or decide the majority of the writing on your ‘wall’ can be erased. Then you are free to take a deep breath, step forward and take Action, pick up the reins of Responsibility. Things Do get better, you Will have more time and you will be Rewarded by the Universe when you take action.
Assistance may be needed with the recovery of chipped/scarred self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, not deserving blocks. The solution is one of tapping into the problem/s by using the Emotional Freedom Technique, an easy and painless process, which will allow you to re-discover the intrinsic You and what You actually wish to achieve in life.

Be well, have a marvellous week(:>)

Everyone wants to be liked, yet some of us bend over backwards a little too far. Often it’s due to a lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, being on the “outside, looking in”, childhood trauma, like being bullied at school. On occasions we stress out, put a “flea” in the ear of a staff member, or co-worker and then worry about whether “they” still like us.
Who is the authentic Me?

Stress and pressure mounts when we worry whether Aunt Jemima, or the Vicar will like the gifts we gave them. The internal dialogue/monkey chatter rears its head – “Told you we should have got the other gift for Auntie, and the Vicar’s gift, can you really see him in a T shirt that says, “Top of the Pops”? Please, please let them still like us.”
Who is the authentic Me?

Family, friends, somebody, anybody, asks; – “Would you do me a huge favour and pick up Pickles from the dog parlour?” “I can do that, no problem.”
An sms comes in – “Hi Sis, can you fetch Mary from school, still having my nails done.” Reply “Sure no probs.”
On the way out the door to fetch Pickles, phone rings!
A salesperson with a’ special’ on carpets – “Yes, 4 o’clock is fine” (just could not say No!).
Another sms, it’s Mother, “Haven’t been to see me all week, I made cheesecake, your favourite.”
Total and utter capitulation, “I’ll pop round now. Can’t stay long, have errands to run.”
Who is the authentic Me?

When we endeavour to please all the people all the time, there comes a stage when we start to feel like a pressure cooker! It is only a matter of time before we blow off steam.
Why? Because we can’t say “No”.
Why? Because we want to please everyone.
Why? Because we want to be liked.

When we discover who we are, warts and all, and show Acceptance for who we are, show Appreciation for our various abilities, show or give ourselves some Caring and Compassion, show an attitude of Gratitude for who we are and what we have, and when we are able to do all that, what do  we find?  ”We like ourselves”.

We are not defined by the outer shell we wear or the various masks we wear. So to find the ‘Authentic Me’, we need to do a few things in order for change to take place – yes, sometimes it is hard to do, yet what an incredible treasure to be re-discovered.

Essentially, where we find ourselves in life, is where we have placed ourselves.
So let us take a few steps towards a life of authenticity.
Live from a place of integrity.
Say what we mean and mean what we say.
Learn to use the word “No” when necessary.
Institute boundaries.
Take back our power.
Recognize the essence of Me.
Pay heed to and love ‘The Authentic Me’.
Why?
Because the ‘Authentic Me’ is a truly unique and irreplaceable being, loved by all.

Be well and allow the ‘Authentic Me’ to shine.

If we choose a word, let’s say Happiness. We are told or we know it has a ‘set point’, and when that is broken down it looks like this: 50% genetic – 40% habit – 10% circumstances. Happiness does have many branches or off-shoots (feelings, etc.), it does however encapsulate positivity in all its forms.

Then if we look at the word Unhappiness (its 40% and 10% components and in all its various forms), we find it’s like velcro, and we know that sticks like crazy. So the question is, why do we continue to use ‘velcro’ in our speech and in our behaviour patterns, on a daily basis?

Toning down expletives and putting it mildly, words like; “hogwash” – “butterballs” – “cow patties” – “rubbish” – “nonsense I’m not unhappy” – “I don’t use ‘velcro’ speech”. All of this negation comes into our minds at the speed of light.  Why? We are hoping to place the responsibility at the door of the elusive phrase – “I will be happy when…………” – totally negating the previous paragraph!

However, we have to acknowledge and accept that unhappiness (or any form of negativity) is what we choose, at any given time or moment of our lives. Hard pill to swallow.

Let’s take a guess at a ‘set point’ for unhappiness, could be about; 0% genetics – 90% habit – 10% circumstances, don’t think those figures would be too far out. How do we go about changing these percentages – we opt for choice?

We need to substitute certain words in our vocabularies so they become ‘triggers’ and we whittle away at the unacceptable percentages, in order to bring about positive change and balance to our lives. It goes without saying, there also has to be determination, respect for self, self-acceptance,  honesty, and staying power, for the roots of positive change to occur.

If we start with words like; Choice, Change, Integrity, Joy, Laughter, Truth, Acceptance, Honesty, etc., it will be a first step towards liking ourselves again. It will be a choice we have made to re-invent ourselves and bring laughter, joy, serenity, calm, self-respect, positivity and balance back into our lives.

An added advantage of course is we re-discover how (without innuendoes) to articulate and express ourselves transparently and with integrity – we become  proud and fluent (which seems to be a “dying art”) once again in our home languages.  We have to remember, that energy follows thought and that the negativity of thoughts, words or phrases uttered, tend to spearhead the energy, and the result is a negative ripple effect throughout the universe. Imagine how lives would improve with more positivity permeating the ether. 100% AWESOMENESS :>)

How do we start?
First- We accept ownership.
Second- We simply make the choice to change. Nobody else can do it for us. Third- put this piece of oriental wisdom on our Vision Boards – No Door Leads To Happiness Or Unhappiness. Both Enter When You Ask Them To.

Be well and have a wonderful week:>)

If you were stuck in traffic, and now  at the office, and find you are having a less than good day, take a few minutes, literally, for yourself.

Balance your emotions, relieve any pain, get rid of stress, irritation or tiredness by trying an age old therapy, Jin shin jyutsu. Easy to do anywhere and unobtrusive.

Sit comfortably, breathe slowly and gently.
Place your left hand, palm up on your lap.
Hold the middle joint of the left middle finger between the thumb and fingers of your right hand for a minute or two.
Then do the same again with your right hand.
It will help you release any stress or tension.

This one will help calm and revitalize you.
Once again sit comfortably, breathe slowly and gently.
Place your left hand palm up on your lap.
Hold the 4th and 5th fingers (ring & pinky) of your left hand between the thumb and fingers of your right hand (thumb is on the palm side of your left hand). Hold the position for a minute or two.
Change hands and repeat on your right hand.
Helps revitalize all your organs, and calms the body by releasing stress and nervous tension.

You can do this standing, then of course your hands would be a bit lower than waist height.
Works for me when I’m in a long queue at a check out counter.

Hope these help. Be well and have an awesome week:-)